I hate to admit this, but I have “issues”. These largely revolve around my social contacts, in the guise of a friend or relative. No matter how helpful you are to a certain person, and extend your warmth and hospitality, things generally start crashing down after Phase II of Hospitality. On several occasions, I have found that I have generally been “taken for a ride”, side-lined, or silenced into acceptance of my poor fate.

                  I agree whole heartedly with the fact that “times have changed”, “time moves on”, “what goes around comes around” and so on and so forth. As also with the clichés of how busy the days are, and that “there’s no time to breathe”.

                  What perturbs me is when a close acquaintance takes full advantage of you, and you bend backwards for that person, expecting reciprocity and blooming of a new relationship. As a generally very positive minded person, I am by nature genuine in my dealings. It comes as something of a mild shock when, for instance, phone call after phone call is not returned, enquiries are not made, and general courtesies not extended. To read between the lines, does this action mean that they think nothing of you, or are plain indifferent, no matter how sincere you are towards them? Actions, after all, speak louder than words, don't they?

              I experienced this (once again!) within the extended family. There seems to have been a dramatic turn in social niceties over thepast two decades. Today, the onus lies on the seniors to do the laborious task of making a young family member feel wanted. Do not,at any cost, think beyond this and wound yourself. Expecting a basic degree of at least a show of courtesy and good manners is also expecting too much, or so it seems. Is the world becoming clinical and calculating or is it me that is a mish-mash of emotions, feelings and sentiments that others would care a damn about? Is it that people have no time to build relationships or is it I who is idle and indulging in useless thoughts? Has a certain percentage of mankind forgotten how to use his social skills, caught up as they are in the “rat race”? Can a rat race at all without manners, concern and a basic social sense? Can we lead absolutely isolated lives, within the confines of our four walls? Have whole attitudes towards life and living changed? Is our society on the verge of crumbling?

               The answer is NO. And I hope that it shall remain so. I am thankful to the Lord up above, who has bestowed me with friendships and alliances that have stood the test of time. I am happy to recollect that my school friend, “M”, are still friends after all these years. My cousins still bond with the same fervour as we did a quarter century or more ago, my school teachers still remember me fondly, and I are membered by a host of well wishers from the years gone by. Maybe it would be best to concentrate on relationships such as these, rather than focus on the ones that were ill-fated, or maybe just not meant to be. It doesn't matter if you are related by blood or by chance. Never take any relationship for granted. People who hurt you and keep returning to you for favours may continue to do so. We should pray that we should never, ever, have to go to them for obligations!