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10月6日 How to deal with dominating people. " Forget about World Peace. You are very small. Look after those around you.
If you can't look after those around you, look after yourself.
If you can't look after yourself, ask for help."
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Have you ever encountered a person who is dominating? Dominance comes in many forms. Some dominating people come across as silent observers, contributing little to conversations or group discussions. Often, they lack facial expression. It is only later that they try to hit back, and are capable of making situations very tricky and difficult.
Dominating people try to find faults in others. They cannot be talked to reasonably, and are hot-headed, rude, argumentative and aggressive individuals. It is debatable whether dominating people are actually courageous or brave. Mostly, they desire to be the centre of attention and will achieve their aims at any cost. Negative dominance means when a person is trying to take away something from you: your morale, your self esteem, or a possibly blossoming relationship. Unlike a person with "leadership qualities", in which a dominating or strong personality has a positive influence on a group of people and binds them together, a negatively inclined dominating people will shun relationships, and most often than not, be a jealous, envious or evil person.
Whether it is your boss, a friend, or a relative, try to remain calm in the face of a dominating person or a situation which is threatening to flare up into a full fledged battle of wits. They will try to put you down and may even go all out to publicly humiliate you. Seldom aware of being respectful, they behave like charging bulls, and do not possess very great restraining powers. Handle the situation with care: and in this case, the word "care" mostly means....do not react. At the same time, do not show that you are being intimidated. Insults will be hurled freely at you, and under unpredicatable circumstances. Like the Boy Scouts' motto, always, 'Be Prepared.'. But do not stoop to their low levels.....or else all will be lost.
Negatively dominating people are overcome with an inferiority complex and hence will act extra sensitive and touchy. In their quest for dominating the moment, they may quote you out of context (they have extraordinarily good memories) or twist your words to mean something which you hadn't ever intended or meant. Naturaly, the intention is to provoke. Do not be provoked. Do not react. Be firm and calm, yet show your superior personality by not losing your dignity, self esteem and balance. Remind yourself that you are dealing with a totally irrational human being, who is out to get you.
If you play into the hands of an aggressive-dominating type, you will be harming yourself and relations with people whom you actually love, for these people try to hit out where it hurts the most. Relationships suffer and you are looking at the bigger picture, remember?
Say affirmative things to yourself, and always stay alert when you sense that the conversation is going the wrong way. Take control of dominating people by remaining in control of yourself. Best of luck!
 9月6日 The Other Side of Midnight: Plight of Street Children. Friends, I would like to share with you an article which appeared in today's newspaper ( The Hindu, Bangalore, Sept. 6, 2009).
It highlights the terrible plight of our country's street children, and how they have to struggle in order to survive without a proper family to return to or the basic amenities of life. If anyone needs help on a first priority basis, it is such children. — PHOTO: SUDIPTO MONDAL  What’s in store?: (From left) Shilpa, Sheila and Ammu at a short-stay home for distressed children in Mangalore. MANGALORE: Three intoxicated street children found snorting handkerchiefs soaked in petrol and wandering aimlessly near Ambedkar Circle (Jyothi Circle) here were rescued by some local people and handed over to the District Child Welfare Committee (CWC) late on Friday night. The children are siblings and have been identified as Sheila (9), Ammu (7) and Shilpa (5). They have been admitted to a short-stay home for distressed children under the care of the CWC. In startling revelation, the sisters told the CWC members that their father, Shivanna, killed their mother, Chandramma, two years ago by crushing her head with a boulder. He also sold their brother, Raju (4), for money. While the two younger girls barely speak, Sheila went on to add that she could show where her mother’s body was buried and identify the person to whom her brother was sold. According to the Juvenile Justice Act, said CWC member Geo D’Silva, the statement given to the CWC enjoys the same status as an FIR (first information report) registered by the police. “My father killed my mother and sold my brother Raju to a security guard for a lot of money. He would have sold us too, so we ran away,” said Sheila, speaking to The Hindu on Saturday. Family torn apartShe also said her eldest brother Gopal is in jail for felony. Jail authorities confirmed this and said Gopal was a habitual offender who had spent several short stints in jail. Jail sources also added that he often talked about his three little sisters and a teenaged younger brother. Asked if she had another older sibling, Sheila said, “Yes, his name is Babruvahana. He is in the remand home for theft.” When CWC members cross-checked this claim they found out that Babruvahana was indeed in an Observation Home for juvenile delinquents managed by the Juvenile Justice Board and is 15 years old. Sheila also said her two elder brothers took to petty crime and the sisters ran away only after her mother’s death. She said she had studied up to the second standard, and her elder brothers went to school when their mother was alive. Although her elder brothers lived separate lives now, the five of them met occasionally. Her brothers also periodically gave the sisters some money. Sheila said she and her sisters were often harassed and assaulted by fellow street people, shopkeepers, autorickshaw drivers and even policemen. It perhaps explained the look of terror on the girls’ faces when they were put in a police jeep and transported to the children’s home on Friday night. When they were found, the girls were dressed like boys in shirts and trousers. Their hair was cropped short. “You don’t know how some men are on the streets. They would have done bad things to us if they found out that we were girls,” said Sheila. Sheila said they started snorting petrol, petroleum glue and other cheaply available intoxicants to overcome hunger pangs. They were taught to snort these intoxicants by a group of children who also live on the street. “Thumba majaa banthu,” she said in Kannada, which roughly translates to “It was very enjoyable.” Printer friendly page **************************************
9月4日 Recent experience of child after "bunking" school. Almost all of us have experienced this at one point in our lives. Try to recall your High School days, the vast portions to be "mugged", burning the midnight oil prior to the exams etc. Recall also, the stress levels of trying to complete your never-ending revision and coping with giving attendance at school. Most of us would also remember those days of secret conspiracies of "mass bunking", when the majority of the class would agree to miss out one working day when exams were knocking at your door.
This week, my daughter, a High School student, debated whether to attend school on Tuesday, as the First Term Exam was commencing on Wednesday (i.e. the very next day). The school, in turn thought it had done a big favour to the children by declaring Tuesday ( the one day prior to the Exam day) as a half day. After much deliberation and calculation, both she and I came to the conclusion that, given the huge portions staring at her in the eye, and the time wastage involved in to and fro travel, it would be wiser to "bunk" school, rather than attending it.
As the day progressed and my daughter was rather wrapped up in her studies, she received a frantic call from one of her class mates who had actually taken the trouble to attend school, that the school authorities are livid over the mass absenteeism, and all those who would be coming the next day to answer the exams would have to produce a plausible reason or valid medical certificate as a reason for their absence; failing which, a total of 55 marks would be deducted from the aggregate marks in the final report.
I didn't know whether to thank the class mate for this information or not, at that point of time, because I was left to deal with a double-tensed child who could no longer concentrate on her studies after hearing this news. Both of us, mother and daughter, came to the conclusion that we'd have to come up with a great reason for not turning up at school the next day, or we would have to face the depressing consequences of marks being deducted.
That same evening, I found myself at a local doctor's clinic. Thankfully, there were no other patients that day, and, after some frank explanations of my situation at home, the doctor cooperated and wrote down a 'certificate', stating the reason for my child's absence. Filled with gratitude and guarding that all important document, I rushed home, and leaving no stone unturned in retrieving my daughter from the grim prospect of having to lose marks, I also wrote a hand written note to the school.
The next day, which was the day of Commencement of Exams, I waited anxiously for her to return from school. To my relief, I saw her smiling. She recounted everything that happened that morning. Apparently, nearly 70% of the class had been absent, and the Principal gave them all a tough talk. Most of the students who could produce medical certificates were pardoned, but a good number had not made it. I feel sorry for those children, if the school Principal is really going to go ahead with those threats.
This experience made me think about our schooling on the whole. Why should the higher class students have to compulsorily attend school, one day before the exam, on a day when no other teaching would be undertaken? Why are they demanding an explanation from around 30/40 students for being absent? Isn't it very apparent that they had taken leave to study? Wouldn't attending half a day of school leave them feeling exhausted and running severely out of time? It's high time our schools thought more practically and not force the children and their parents into a corner, making us certified liars ? Schools, please wake up and take note.
 8月30日 Reality shows: How real can they be? As consumers of TV viewing, we are being subjected to a slew of idiotic "reality" shows. Some hover around the match-making decisions of a starlet (Rakhi ka Swayamvar),most are youth based programs where individuals are pitted against each other under varying circumstances ( MTV Roadies, Exhausted), and some feature infamous individuals of dubious nature (aren't all infamous people dubious in nature?) surviving either in a house (Big Brother), or trying to survive in a jungle ( Iss Jungle se mujhe Bachao; a straight take off from the American series, "I'm a Celebrity...Get me out of Here!). Reality shows have smelt blood...and they know they have a gullible audience who will lap up any crap that they dish out. Especially if they feature a character or characters who have a claim to fame through doubtful means. To me, a "reality show" can never be truly showcase reality, as the participants are put in an environment specially created for the program. They know that the cameras are rolling 24*7,and that they have to behave in a certain way which allows them to enjoy the limelight. Most reality shows are copies of the ones already in circulation in the US and UK. They became a hit in India especially after the Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty hit the jackpot in the UK reality show, The Big Brother House, after being crowned (by default), for being a very decent human being in the face of Jade Goody's racist and insulting remarks. By remaining mute, the so-far unnoticed Shilpa Shetty laid her hands on a jackpot prize, and even the hand of one of Britain's most successful business men, Raj Kundra. Thanks to this, Shilpa today is an industry in her own right, running charitites, owning a castle or two in Scotland, sponsoring and owning cricket teams, and getting seen at the right places with the right people.
Today I watched one of my favourite shows on the Nat Geo channel. It goes with the title," Jailed Abroad". If only our reality show hosts and participants watched this, would they really get to know what survival under excruciating circumstances mean. For instance, until today, I had not heard of Martin and Gracie Burnham. The couple, who were American missionaries, were kidnapped for 376 days in the Phillipines by a lesser known terror outfit called the Abu Sayyaf group. The sort of harrowing tales that the survivors of these extraordinary events live to tell, cannot be paralleled by the so-called reality shows which seem to be the flavour of the season on TV. At most,they can pass off as a poor mimicry of the real thing. I truly wish that such mindless shows would come to an end, and in fact, I think they are already on their way out. In one of the jungle shows for example, a participant was made to stick his head into a jar full of creepy crawlies, and when he emerged,he was bitten black and blue, with their venom coursing through his body. Today's papers also cited a participant of a Pakistani reality show, who died while performing one of the tasks in deep water.
The big question remains, that what more could the ever hungry, sensation seeking audience possibly derive more thrills from, after the craze for reality shows is over?
7月18日 Michael Jackson : The Man and the Phenomenon. Michael Jackson, pop singer par excellence, winner of 13 Grammy awards, and many more recognitions, died under mysterious and tragic circumstances on June 25th 2009. He was an "Achiever" in the true sense of the word, having being dubbed 'The King of Pop'. After years in the entertainment industry, his sudden end has left the average Jackson fan stunned. The world of music can never be the same again.
Jackson came across as a lonely, enigmatic, and controversial figure. After shooting to stardom in 1982 with the highly acclaimed album, "Thriller", life for this multi-talented artiste was never the same again. A highly publicised personal life, supporter of as many as 39 charities, and involvement with his "Heal the World Foundation", made him one of the most discussed celebrity of our times. Unfortunately, personal idiosyncracies and obsessions overshadowed his art, and Jackson found himself in the quagmire of accusations, law suits, psychological problems, and unsuccessful marriages. His ever-altering face became a symbol of the confusion and trouble that raged within him.
Although he is not with us now, controversy, which seemed to be a hallmark of his life, surrounds his death till today.
May his soul rest in peace.
 7月5日 Nandi Hills, Bangalore. Last week, I went on my second visit, or should I say, drive, down to Nandi Hills. This place lies about 60-65 kms out of the Bangalore city limits. Plannning a trip here on a lazy weekend is a good idea, when time is short and one needs the urge to go for a change in a short time frame. Nandi Hills, is historically significant because Tipu Sultan, the Tiger of Mysore, had built a fort here, and had a particular high point ear-marked to punish wrong-doers: it is named 'Tipu's Drop', and the reason is not hard to imagine.
Geographically, Nandi Hills is a part of the old-fold mountains, and is therefore not very high, by mountain standards. It's height is a mere 1485 ft. above mean sea level. The drive to the Hills is interesting, as one passes sleepy villages and farm lands. Vineyards dot the area, and locals stand near the speed-breakers (typical of Indian roads), holding out succulent, juicy bunches of grapes to lure customers. We bought a batch of purple grapes. They were sweet, and had a lovely flavour. What disturbed me was that the ruthless land developers had reached their tentacles to this lovely, green and unspoilt rural land. "Purvankara Property" claim ugly boards hung on steel fencing, which ran on for nearly half a kilometer. How does the government readily agree to part with agricultural land, and invite city dwellers to spoil the beauty of such surroundings?
One starts the ascent up the Nandi Hills quite suddenly, soon after farmlands end. The roads are good, and I have no complaint here. However, as with all such drives, one is cautioned to go on a vehicle in good condition, and a spare tyre, to meet any emergency. Once you're up, there is a ticketing office which sells entry tickets for Rs. 80/- per car, which is really very reasonable. Your car can be taken on higher still from this point onwards, till there is no more vertical limits to climb. Above, the weather growsnoticeably cooler. The first time I had gone here, taught me to go well -equipped this time around, with a warm jacket. There are pleasant walks, and great view points, offering you a wonderful view of the plains below. The British had made Nandi Hills their summer getaway zone, and the Bungalow of Lord Cubbon, is now named after the Indian ex-Prime Minister, Nehru. It was a delight to see the well maintained gardens, with exotic flowers and old trees. We spent a long time clicking pictures with our cameras.
It was getting to be lunch time, so we checked into the small government-run restaurant there (run by Karnataka Tourism Development Authority. The crowds were still thin, so we bagged the best table, near the window, offering a wide view. The food offered at this restaurant is good,offering multi-cuisine fare and is very reasonably priced.
For those with more time on their hands, one can visit the Nandi Temple here. I couldn't, as time was running out, and we had a journey back home to be covered in a stipulated time limit.
It is advised not go with very high expectations to Nandi Hills. It is not a hill-station in the strict sense of the term as we know it in India, although it does provide you with a feel of going to one. For one, it is a very small area, and secondly, it is entirely government run, so commercialisation is kept at a minimum. There is no shopping to be done here (thankfully!) and neither will you be spoilt for choice for accomodation. It is a very easy trip to undertake for people in a hurry or those on a shoe-string budget. Beware the resident monkeys here; they are crafty and get pretty wicked if they are in the mood for mischief. Do not tease them or carry food items in your hands which they can snatch away easily. Keep windows of your car always up, for these mischievous creatures know how to look in through the window and check out the contents inside.
Lastly, Nandi Hills is a great place for nature lovers. You can sight many different species of birds, and hear many fascinating bird calls. Worth a visit at least once, and a good idea to take friends to, if you're bored of the usual partying-shopping-cooking-at-home routine.
For more info on Nandi Hills, please visit: http://horticulture.kar.nic.in/nandi.htm
6月24日 If I were the PM of my country.... We all know that India is a country of great social inequalities. Much as we may claim to be marching to a golden future, plenty of work is to be done. One of the basic problems with our nation is the tremendous red tapism. "Justice delayed is justice denied." We prefer to keep confirmed rapists, terrorists, murderers and dangerous elements behind prison doors, feeding on the tax payers' money. WHY??
If I were the PM, I'd do away with the very S-L-O-W system of justice, for starters. For example, confirmed terrorists like Kasab ( Mumbai shoot-out accused, December 2008), Afzal Guru ( Lok Sabha attacker, New Delhi, 199...(?) ), Abu Salem ( much wanted underworld don, captured last year) and dozens of others, are blatantly LIVING, without any punishment till now, and getting three square meals a day with OUR, the hard working citizen's money!
Self styled social leaders like Mamata Bannerjee, who created havoc in West Bengal last year, stirring a hornet's nest by opposing the Tata Motor's plant at Nandigram/Singur, are actually made Union ministers as a reward!! Shouldn't this person be behind bars, with a life sentence for unleashing so much bloodshed and violence in the country?
Rapists are on the prowl. Apparently, rape is in fashion. We allow the rape to happen, because there are no stringent laws against this horrible crime. Rapists are everywhere, and come in the garb of any man aged 8 years to 80 years. They may belong to any profession, educational background, or socio-cultural background. Gang rape in cars is happening with alarming regularity, wherein women are being literally whisked off in cars, by drunken or semi crazed men. These men are later caught, and are beamed on national news, with black head gears on. ( I've often wondered why rapists need to be shown with headgear covering their faces: in my opinion, they should be shown in close-up, from all possible angles, in order to humiliate them, if they have any shame left in them.) Men in this country are known to rape a woman even by merely looking at her, and dressing her down mentally. I know, because I happen to hail from the crime capital of India, New Delhi, where I grew up travelling in buses with sex maniacs. Was it a trauma growing up under such circumstances? YES. Was it humiliating? YES. Did I feel afraid? YES. Did I show my fear and disgust? NO. And in those days, there were scant people or agencies to protect one from eve-teasers ( a quaint euphemism meant to denote dirty minded people).
If I were PM, I would have seen to it that rapists and eve teasers are paraded on donkey first, and then led to the gallows. They should have a humiliating end, a merciless one, as merciless as the crime they perpetuate on a helpless and vulnerable person. Do they even know what kind of MONSTER they are? No. So, society has to show them the way.
Anyone who is disrupting the peace and normal activities of the nation building process should be termed as a terrorist, and punishment awaiting this/these person(s) should be doled out accordingly. Justice has to be fast and quick. No endless court sessions, debates, and open forums. 99% of criminals are escaping because the court procedures are taking so damn long, that they are forgotten in the public memory.
Please wake up India. Wake up PM. Wake up every Indian citizen. It's time to act NOW!! 6月10日 AIRTEL : One Day at my Telephone Service Provider's Office. I happen to be a customer of my country's largest and most popular telephone service provider - Airtel. For reasons unknown, I am stuck to this particular phone company, as are several others. One visit to their offices anywhere in the city is enough to make one balk. Airtel has employed thousands of young boys and girls who have a minimum ( and maximum ) of a High School education. These young employees are inept, inefficient and lack enthusiasm to work. I have had the urge to shake these folks up from their state of sombulence, on many an occasion....or should I say EVERY time I need to go here, which is once a month.
Today was one of those days. I had spent an almost sleepless night over one mystery phone bill that they had sent me ON TOP of a fresh bill whose payment I had already made. Seeing the four figure amount made my blood pressure rise, and all I could think of were the situations that might crop up when I actually took them head on.
When I entered the office, there was a sprinkling of people ( which was why I had rushed out of the house early!), and I was quick to join a small queue on the counter labelled " Post Paid Counter". The boy-man who sat there had a pale complexion, and had barely started sprouting a moustache. He had a vacant, content look about him, which I thought was because I had seen him chatting amicably with a colleague minutes before. Anyway, he had taken up a position across the counter...and I happily sat on the red chair in front of him. Then I noticed that he didn't bother to look up from his computer......and neither did he register my presence. This made me enquire," Are you looking after this desk?"...to which Mr. Indifferent glanced up and said a flat, "No. It's the next desk." I gave up and silently moved to the next desk.
Desk #2 was manned ( or is it womanned?) by a fat, plump and laid back girl. She was instructing a customer on various do's and don'ts of subscribing to Airtel. Simultaneously, she was asking her colleagues for help related to his questions. The colleagues would answer back with a mumble here and a shrug there. I couldn't believe my eyes. Was this how the country's top, privatised phone company functions? The man sitting in front of her was full of queries. Finally he handed her a Rs.500 note. Ms. Daisy Cow (aka Ms. Laid Back Wobbly Creature), asked indolently around whether any of her colleagues had change. Again the half smile-and-shrug response. The Cow-like creature got up and waddled up to another desk to ask for change. By now by blood pressure was hitting the roof, but who cared? The man-with-a-thousand-queries was filling up another long form, which requires CAPITALS ONLY. He started out on his handwriting test. I could take it no more. I asked whether he could kindly move to another place to fill up his form while I made my necessary enquiries? The Man-with-queries got irritated, and said, "I've been waiting a long time in queue too....you will have to wait". I stared at him in disbelief. "Is there any queue here at all?" I asked, "This is a stagnant, still line comprising of two persons, and we have been watching you fill up forms ever since we've entered this office. In an unexpected move, the man suddenly got up and told me that I could sit, and he'd move away.
Finally I came face to face with the Cow who was still grasping the ropes at her new office. I told her to clarify my doubts regarding my bill. Which she did. I made the necessary payments, but still clueless as to why the company had sent me such a huge bill when all that was required of me was to pay a small outstanding amount.
Anyone who visits an Airtel office had better go armed with plenty of patience and time. This is a place for the spiritually bent of mind, because at each juncture, you have to keep forgiving people silently and blessing them eternally. May God Bless Airtel!! 5月27日 Old friends have come back into my life! Isn't it strange how life somehow comes full circle ? Maybe it's the universal law, some Divine Will operating here. Maybe it is the way things were meant to be. Forgive me for sounding abstract; what I am really driving at is how stunned I am at my success rate at searching out old acquaintances via the internet. Each time I've made contact with a person from my past, the experience of reconnecting has always been a joyful one. We may never meet in person, but the amazing pace at which old friendships can be reforged, is something to be marvelled at.
Mimi, or Sushmita, who is on my Friends' list here is one of the first persons I searched out from the Net. She is my first cousin, with whom links had snapped due to many reasons. However, the memories of childhood are something which is so hard to wipe away, overtake all else in the end. Today, she and I have found a common footing once again, and it's great to know that she is well settled with a satisfying career and family life.
Many more old friends have re-surfaced in the meantime. Aditi, a shy, girl who was a year or so younger than I was, was a neighbour from my early teen years. She and I got along well together, because at that point of time, we scarcely had much choice of friends to choose from. Perhaps this was what drove us onto a path of everlasting friendship. At that point of time, she was my contact point to the Western world, having freshly arrived from London, armed with a baggage of the latest music releases, music system, and books. We'd gloat over the pop divas and movies of that time (it was Abba and Boney M, Saturday Night Fever, Grease, and Star Wars at that time). Thanks to the latest social interfacing site called Facebook, I have now rediscovered Aditi, happy to know that she is living in the very same house that we had met years ago, and living as a single, career lady with her widowed mother.
Many moons ago, I shared a wonderful friendship with an equally giggly girl, called Sarita. She and I would share comic books, discuss world issues, and take long cycling routes through desolate routes. Entertainment would mean hanging around the newly opened ice cream parlour or the local lending library, sharing "Papri Chaat" and "Paani Puri", or simply playing Badminton.The kind of stuff we did back then would strictly be a strict no-no in today's day and age, where security and traffic are the two major concerns. Sarita and her family were ex-Singaporeans, and I would listen with amazement to the tales of a foreign country I had simply no idea of then, in the Net-deprived times.
Sarita and I have talked for the first time since then, this evening. I cannot even describe the feeling of elation I'm experiencing. It turned out that she and I live in the same city, and in adjacent localities!! And we never even knew about each other all this while!! Life is simply amazing....and that is it's beauty. Friends last forever......no amount of time can ever separate true friends. A big thanks to all my friends, past and present, for giving my life so much meaning.
 5月12日 Dilemmas faced by parents and children during College Admission time. My heart goes out to students aspiring for college admissions. Not that I didn't know of their woes previously, but it just happens that I am now on the other side of the fence, and am helplessly watching the unfolding of events. My elder daughter has recently given her std. XII Board Examination. In times gone by, this would mean a long, relaxed holiday, in which the child and parent had enough time to unwind and forget about studies for some time. However, in these competitive times, society and the entire education machinery does not allow for such frivolous ideas. Instead, right after the all-important school leaving examination, you have to be on your toes, to answer a zillion other entrance exams to various colleges, both government aided and private. Each time you are appearing for an Entrance examination, you are expected to know the do's and don'ts of the exam format. For example, in order to answer the IIT JEE ( Indian Institute of Technology Joint Entrance Examination) one has to have had prior rigorous training and tutoring to excel in that particular format of examination. As a result, the child seeking admission into ANY course...even if it's for BBA or the Hospitality Industry, has to come from an extremely supportive and financially strong background. Here's why:
1. You pay the school fees, buy extra reference books etc at school level.
2. Your child has attended interminably long coaching classes for "N" number of years in order that he/she qualifies for
joining the Science Stream at school in Std. XI.
3. After the much-dreaded Board examinations are over, you have to immediately admit your child into a coaching class or tutorial home that caters to the various joint entrance exams.
4. Simultaneously, you pay a huge package towards the prospectus and admission forms for a good number of colleges, since one is never too sure whether that all-prized seat will be available for your child at the time of admission.
5. If and when luck strikes, and your child has gained admission into a decent institution, be prepared to shell out MORE cash towards the fee structure that the college demands, including the personal expenditures for the student..
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I don't wish to scare any body here, but in many cases, in addition to all of the above, you are expected to answer National Level Aptitude tests, the scores of which just qualify you to approach the professional degree college(s) teaching the subject. This is particularly true for Architecture course, in which the student has to rely on self study for passing the aptitude tests.
Education has become Big Business, right from the Nursery School stage to the School Leaving stage. We as parents helplessly watch the turn of events and, like puppets on a string, follow the route relentlessly all for the sake of seeing our kids standing with dignity among his/her peer groups. 2月18日 Have you ever been cross-sold? The scene looks innocent enough: two friends sitting with me in a cafetaria. Soothed by the inviting interiors, we sink into the plush couches, amid a clump of cleverly placed indoor palms, giving the place a garden-ish look. Up comes the polite waiter, saying," Good day, ladies, what can I get for you?" We take in his warm tone, and in a chorus, we say, "Three cold coffees, please!!" The waiter took that down, and then added, " would you like it with cream or ice-cream?" Gullible us, again in unison sing in a chorus, " Oh, ice-cream, please!", for the day had been more than warm. The waiter smiled again , politely, and added, "would that be vanilla or chocolate or butterscotch?", and then again, unitedly, we opted for,"Chocolate, please!". Encouraged by our weak state of mind and body, the waiter again suggestively asks, "would that be with a chocolate-grating topping, or the cookie crumble one?" (whatever that means!)
Needless to say, we are left stumped when the bill arrives. We had ended up paying almost three times the amount we would have, for a normal, common, to-the-point cold coffee. In other words, we had been cross-sold!
I'm sure it's happened to all of you, in some form or the other. Take a look at those banks, and the attractive schemes they keep throwing at customers, cleverly omitting the finer details and hidden cost. " Zero charges for a credit card, Madam", is what they claim. Likewise with insurance policies. The flip side is, that one spends a lifetime getting back from these money-wise companies, when in dire straits. I remember my elderly uncle becoming a wreck chasing the insurance guys when his car was stolen. He ultimately won, but at a huge cost to his health and welfare.
Even shopping malls are not innocent bystanders. "Upto 50% off!", "Money-back guarantee", and "Buy for Rs.1000/- and get one kg. sugar free!" Naturally, customers are excited at such offers. However, on closer scrutiny, we find that the "One kg. sugar free!" offer stands valid only on shopping on weekdays, and not weekends! The hidden messages are seldom revealed to the public.
"Customer service oriented organisations....have realised how easy it is to increase their revenues and profit margins by selling more to their customers rather than seeking new customers. For example, notice how Pizza Hut never sells water. That's because they want you to order Coke, which they could have the pleasure of serving to you in a tall glass, full of ice, and a slice of lime, for a 400% margin!", says Shyam, writing for The Hindu.
Be wary of all kinds of freebies, discounts, and tempting offers at eateries. Each of them is loaded with double meaning, which means that you end up with lighter pockets,and THEY go laughing all the way to the bank. In the New Age scenario of commercialisation, it is upto the customer to decide how much of a thing he actually wants.
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   2月15日 A V-Day story. Here's an unusual love story, which I'd like to share with you.
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Each day of the last three years has been Valentine's Day for a Malaysian couple-she is aged 106 (yes, you heard right!) and he's only 37 years old!
When Muhammed Noor Che Musa and Wok Kundor tied the knot over three years ago, nobody gave their marriage much of a chance. Now, the couple, who reside in Kampung Tok Bak near Kuala Terranganu, have surprised many by staying happily married and proving that love conquers all. The couple admitted that they were not too familiar with Valentine's Day but said it meant a day for professing love for one another, then everyday has been Valentine's Day for them.
Asked how it all began, Noor says it was certainly not love at first sight. What started as friendship developed into "something stronger" and eventually it led to marriage. "Sometimes I wish people would just leave us alone but I guess there's really no chance of that happening as there are not many 106 year-old women with 37 year-old husbands," Wok says laughingly.
" I know why some people are wondering why we decided to get married but rest assured that it has nothing to do with material things as we are living modestly on my income as odd-job labourer and Wok's allowance from the Welfare Department," Noor says.
As for the secret of their blissful marriage, Wok said that like others', theirs also had some ups and downs, but Wok said it was vital to remember not to go to bed angry with each other.
(News Courtesy: IANS reports from Malaysia, and The Deccan Herald, India)
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 2月10日 A Visit to the Vet.( Vet Services in Bangalore City) I am standing outside my Vet's clinic. In fact, he and I had raced each other, neck to neck, through a traffic jam, so I was pretty sure that I'd be his first customer/patient/client. I was also armed with an appointment, and was so sure that there could possibly be no one before me on a weekday. However, I was proved wrong. A bespeckled gentleman was ALREADY getting his German Shepherd attended to, leaving me with mine outside. "Outside" refers to the very public road which is exposed to traffic, people, and the usual sprinkling of the Great Indian Strays.
My dog Lucky, is a hyper energised dog when it comes to outings. There is something about a car ride which either excites him or ennervates him or stimulates him. You can well imagine what he's like when faced by an equally personable stray, who challenges him as to why his territory has been tresspassed upon. Moreover, the bespeckled man with the German Shepherd was refusing to come out. My patience had been tested, and so, when I see the same gentleman refusing to budge, I am obliged to give and SOS to the Vet in question. Voila! I am in the Doctor's Chamber!
Today's Vetenary services have grown in leaps and bounds. No longer do you see a dry looking vet in a shabby room, taking a look at your dog with primitive equipment. Now, the animal clinics are done up in an attractive way, colour coordinated, with cute dog blow-ups on the walls. Charts and visual aids inform you on your pet.There is an Operating Theatre, a Dog bath, contemporary digital weighing scales, and an entire shopping area consisting of dog-related products.....collars, leashes, dog-coats,toys, chew sticks and bones of different sizes for different age groups and breeds, dog bedding, frozen foods, non-frozen food from all over the world, and Kennel services for those wishing to go away on vacation and don't have a reliable place to keep their beloved pet. Indeed, it would seem as if dogs pretty much have the same requirments as a human would.
I am lucky to get Lucky a good doctor. He checks his coat for skin infections, gives him the required treatment, and at the end of it all, I return a happy, (if a little poorer) customer. By the time I come out of the treatment room, there is already a queue of patients: a Dobermann, a cute Golden Spaniel, A Labrador, and a Daschund. All the "patients" look cute, but I have to be careful so as not to arouse any jealousy in Lucky. I pay up my bills in the computerised billing desk....and wonder where all the money flies!
Thankyou, Doctor....my dog is actually having a peaceful sleep today! 2月9日 Have you read any of these? It's well near impossible to keep up with the latest book releases, but what's the harm in updating our knowledge of the national bestsellers? Here's some food for thought: if you think you're a well-read person, check this list out before jumping to conclusions!
TOP 10 (A monthly list of national bestselling books compiled for 'India Today'.
FICTION:
1. The White Tiger Arvind Adiga, Harper Collins.
2. The Three Mistakes of My Life Chetan Bhagat, Rupa.
3. The Tales of Beedle the Bard J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury.
4. Twilight: Film Tie-In Stephanie Meyer,Atom/Hatchette Book
5. The Rozabal Line Ashwin Sanghi, Westland.
NON_FICTION
1. Imagining India: Ideas for the New Century, Nandan Nilekani, Penguin.
2. Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish. Rashmi Bansal, CIIE, IIM-Ahmedabad.
3. The Secret. Rhonda Byrne, Atria.
4. Outliers: The Story of Success Malcolm Gladwell, Allen Lane.
5. Curfewed Night Basharat Peer, Random House.
OTHER INDIAN BOOKS IN THE TOP 20.
FICTION.
1 Sea of Poppies, Amitav Ghosh, Penguin/Viking.
2. Between the Assassinations, Arvind Adiga, Picador.
3. Unaccustomed Earth, Jhumpa Lahiri, Random House India.
NON-FICTION
1. The 24*7 Marriage: Smart Strategies for Good Beginnings. Vijay Nagaswami, Westland.
2. Chicken Soup for the Indian Soul. Jack Canfield, Westland.
3. Go Kiss the World. Subroto Bagchi, Penguin.
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HAPPY READING!! For the complete list, click on: www.indiatoday.in
2月1日 Matrimonial sites: Proceed with caution. Last week, I received a call from my close pal, Rita. That's not unusual, as Rita and I are almost always calling each other, and our telephonic chats last a minimum of 45 minutes. What made THIS call extraordinary was, that Rita had a PROBLEM on her hands, and sounded desperate. I heard her out....
About five months ago, Rita had had the chance to visit long lost cousins, on her trip to Malaysia. One of the cousins, a young lady of about 30 years old, struck Rita as a person who was just at the "right" age to get married off. The cousin's name was Tanya, and she was as accomplished as she was beautiful. She worked as a opthalomologist at the city hospital. However, she had already gone through a bad marriage, and was now divorced. Tanya, it seemed was very open to marriage at this point, and so Rita lost no time in getting back home and logging into her computer, to a famous Indian matrimonial site. In no time at all, she seemed to have hit upon the right candidate for her deserving cousin. This was a doctor gentleman who was about two years older to Tanya, and his resume showed that he was equally accomplished, smart and caring. He too, was married, but divorced, and had two children to whom no access had been granted by the court. Soon enough, he and Tanya met online, and within two weeks, the two seemed to be madly in love with each other. Rita was overjoyed that her efforts were paying off, and she had the satisfaction of having done a good deed for a family member.
No one knows what exactly happened after this, but for reasons known best to her, Tanya's mother decided to break off the budding romance between her daughter and the young doctor. Surprisingly, her daughter agreed to her mother's whims, and posed no challenge. However, the young suitor in question was furious. The hitherto polite and well spoken doctor, showed a side that one couldn't even suspect him of possessing. Hurling abuses at the family, he threatened to personally come over to kill them all."Dr. Venom"(as I have dubbed him) has made several printouts of the chat sessions between himself and Tanya, and has send copies of the same to around 10 family members, in his quest to besmirch her image. He didn't even spare my friend, Rita, who was the match-maker, and till date continues sending hate mail to her. Rita's husband and children fear for her security and well-being. I have advised Rita to delete all his messages, and if need be, get hold of a good lawyer and/or undercover detective agent to track down the authenticity of the proposed suitor of her cousin. Later, I visited several websites dealing with online matrimonial frauds and even a website of the Andhra Pradesh State police, warning users of such sites, of the traps they may fall into. The "doctor" who was so sweet all along, turned out to be a sort of psychopath when he was turned down politely, and that too after only a fortnight of correspondence. The girl Tanya, is now a traumatised person, who should thank her lucky stars for not having to continue her life with this modern Dr. Jekyll and Hyde. However, since the experience is all too fresh, it will take months or years to get over. There is a lesson to be learnt from other's experiences, and this is just one of them.
1月13日 Royal Rajasthan on Wheels: Days of Royal style travel re-visited. After the stupendous popularity of the Palace on Wheels, Rajasthan Tourism Development Corporation's new venture, Royal Rajasthan on Wheels set out on it's maiden commercial run on Sunday from New Delhi.
    The fully air-conditioned luxury train claimed to be as luxurious as Oriental Express of Europe and the Blue Train of South Africa, will provide wonderful historical experience of Rajasthan during the seven day sojourn. A joint venture of of RTDC and Indian Railways, the luxury train aims at attracting high end tourists to Rajasthan. Those who choose to travel on RROW will experience sheer opulence and comfort as they travel through the heartland of Rajasthan. Compared to the Palace on Wheels, the Royal Rajasthan is more spacious. It's cabins have more storage space, the bathrooms are bigger, and it has two dining rooms to accomodate all passengers. It will be the only train in India to have a top class Spa. The train will have the Spa and Wi-fi facility from March onwards. There is a wide range of food to choose from and also a library for book lovers, as well as a range of drinks. The exquisitely fabricated coaches have traditional Rajasthani names.The two restro-lounges are by the name of Swarn Mahal and Sheesh Mahal while the deluxe saloons will remind one of the historical monuments like Hawa Mahal, Jogi Mahal, Kumbha Palace, Ummaid Palace and Lal Garh Palace. The tariff for super deluxe saloon is USD 2000 per suite, per person per night., deluxe USD 800 per person per night on twin sharing basis. Service taxes extra. http://www.royalrajasthantravels.com/
1月10日 Air India: Most horrific airlines in operation today. My friend, Anita, visits India every year from the US, like many other Indians living overseas. Every year, she travels aboard the national carrier, Air India, and vows never to board a flight on this airlines ever again. Actually, she has no choice. Tickets on board other airlines are overbooked about six months in advance. Anita is always late in doing her ticket bookings as her busy schedule does not allow her to take leave on regular intervals. As a result, she almost always finds herself stuck with a flight on the most dismal airlines ever, the state-run Air India.
I am writing this blog not out of unpatriotic leanings, but to warn other innocent travellers to avoid this airline at any cost. Do not get influenced by the advertisements proclaiming that the airlines has had a make-over and that it's services have been updated, upgraded and all the other advertising jargon.
On the night of January 7th, 2009, 11p.m., Anita reported at the Santa Cruz airport (now Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport), Mumbai, to catch a Mumbai-London-Newark flight. Her flight was slated at 2 a.m., so she was absolutely running by the schedule. However, after hours of waiting, the airlines staff announced that the flight was not going to take off at all, until 10 a.m, of the following morning (January 8th, 2009). The passengers were beside themselves with exhaustion and anger at not being given any notice and having to wait for so long all night in vain. Some were doled out an unsavoury breakfast of a lump of Upma ( a kind of porridge with seasoning), and others, who were catching the Chicago flight were told flatly that they would not be served any breakfast as they'd be boarding very shortly on their flight. (This was told to them after they were handed over breakfast coupons). Anita ate the cold lump of Upma in fear of going hungry for the rest of the wait till journey's end. At around 10 a.m., (and an almost 10 hour wait with no annoucements whatsoever), they were made to board the Air India flight to Newark.
The horror didn't end here. The Airlines' infamous crew, comprising elderly, withered, and painfully made-up stewards and stewardesses, greeted the passengers with cold compassion. On the entire journey*, Anita was served only two meals, the description of which would easily match those given to prision inmates. The portions were insufficent,and the food unappetising,to say the least.The irony of it all was, that this was the service given to people who were paying upto $1700 per ticket, and these were a far cry from prisoners: they were all dignified people holding respectable positions in society. At night, the cabin crew all retired to the Business Class, where they slept soundly, as that section went completely unoccupied, and it wasn't hard to guess why. When morning dawned, the aging crew arose, with a fresh layer of make-up caking their skins, and not cracking a smile.
Anita's flight was a hopping one, which meant that her flight had an hour and a half stopover at London's Heathrow Airport. The passengers were de-planed,and huddled up into an enclosure with glass walls, and no toilets(rest-rooms). The transit time too spilled over to two hours and a half, after which the bynow frantic passengers all boarded their aircraft and immediately formed a queue outside the restrooms.(God knows of the plight of the sick, senior,travellers or those with small children in attendance.)
The happy ending is that Anita has reached the safe confines of her home in the US. Her horrifying journey of nearly 50 hours has thankfully come to an end. She has again taken a vow NEVER to travel on an Air India flight. Let's see how her luck goes the next time around!
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* The average flight time between US and India is 22 hours.
* India runs private carriers like Jet Airways and Kingfisher on International routes also. They have amazingly good reports on their overall service.
* Most International Airlines are linked to Mumbai and/or New Delhi....you have to be alert to bag your tickets on the good ones.
1月8日 These are a few of my favourite things.... I love browsing in bookstores. Lately I was in one of the big bookstores of the city, called Landmark. Unfortunately, it was the weekend, and people were crawling out of every nook and cranny. The smell of the crowd mixed with the new books, made me feel a wee bit light-headed. However, excited at seeing so many books on display, I got around to the bookshelves. When I looked right, the placard said "Religion", and then tapered it down to "Christianity", "Hinduism", "Islam", "Buddhism" and so on and so forth. I decided that I wanted to read about Jesus Christ, and asked the storekeeper for any book titled "Passion of the Christ". This person busily went to a boy attendant at the desk, and both of them diligently typed out "Fashion of the Christ", (to search the database on the computer), till I noticed and corrected them.Another attendant had in the meantime, materialised out of nowhere, and seemed more well-read than the rest of his cronies, and informed me that the book I was asking for was last sold in the year 2004!
Not to be disheartened, I picked up a book called "The Tibetan Book of the Dead and Living", written by a Tibetan monk. I read the summary at the back, and found the topic to be too deep for my present frame of mind. Books and bookshelves ran on for many metres, and book lovers were by now, bumping into each other, for lack of space. It seemed strange that big, busy,noisy, cities held so many bookworms. Did anyone out here actually find time to read? This was a stupid thing to think, for books today are so broad based. There is Literature, Fiction, Non Fiction, Romance, Classics, Indian Authors writing in English, Academic books, Management books, How to Prepare for Exams Books, Travelogues, Occult,the Sciences, Technical Books, Philosophy and History.
I left the bookstore with a tinge of sorrow, as I could not get what I wanted. The ones that interested me were too expensive, and the one that I really wanted was out of stock. I wish books were cheaper and we didn't have to rely on the pirated versions of good paperbacks that one can pick up for a fraction of the cost of the original. Somehow the pirated versions don't give you the same feeling as an original does.
Recently I was presented with a book by Paul Coelho, and that's what I'm reading! Which book are you reading right now?
1月4日 Sinusitis:Facts seldom known. A patient with sinusitis can have such varied symptoms that he may mistakenly visit the physician, paediatrician, opthalmologist, dentist or neurologist!
Sinusitis is an infection of the small, air-filled cavities within our facial skeleton called sinuses. The sinuses serve to lighten the skull and along with the nose they play a defensive role through their humidification and micro particle trapping and flushing action. The sinuses drain into the nasal cavity through small openings. If the openings get blocked due to any reason, secretions accumulate, microorganisms multiply and infection occurs resulting in sinusitis. The disease pathology can spread to the throat, ears, lower respiratory airways and lungs, causing seemingly unrelated symptoms such as chronic throat irritation, throat pain, ear discomfort,impaired hearing, ringing in the ears, and chronic cough.
CAUSES: The most common initiating factor in sinusitis is a viral common cold affecting the nose. The viruses can spread to the sunuses and pave way for a secondary bacterial infection and subsequent acute sinusitis. Inappropriate treatment of the acute episode or the presence of predisposing factors can lead to a chronic debilitating condition. The duration of the disease can give a clue to whether it is a common cold, acute sinusitis, or chronic sinusitis. Common cold lasts 1-2 weeks and is mild in nature. Acute sinusitis lasts less than a month. Chronic sinusitis lasts more than one month.
SYMPTOMS: A patient with sinusitis can have such varied symptoms that he will mistakenly visit a physician, neurologist, dentist or opthalomologist! The symptoms can be confined to the nose, like nasal blockage, nasal discharge, smell dysfunction, or there may be heaviness in the head, headache, eye pain, toothache or facial pain, depending on the sinus involved. Fever is more common in the acute variety.
Post-nasal drip is a common problem resulting in throat irritation, throat pain, and cough which patients and many doctors themselves fail to attribute to the sinusitis resulting in inadequate treatment. There may be ear complaints such as fullness or pain, ringing sounds, hearing impairment, and even dizziness secondary to eustachian tube dysfunction. There may be accompanying symptoms such as bad breath, taste impairment, frequent to constant tiredness, long standing cough which responds poorly to vaious cough remedies.
TREATMENT: Treatment options can be broadly divided into surgical and non surgical options. The extent and and nature of the surgical intervention is strictly tailored to the individual patient. Restoration of the dysfunctional ventilation and drainage pathways of the sinonasal tract is the mainstay of the surgical treatment. The majority of the sinus surgeries are performed endoscopically in the modern day scenario and hence entail minimal morbidity and minimal hospital stay.
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Article courtesy: The Deccan Herald, Bangalore,Saturday, January 3, 2009.
The author is Dr. Sonia S Venugopal,
ENT Consultant, Columbia Asia Hospital.
12月21日 The Resurrection: The Taj Mahal Hotel and Oberoi Trident The Taj Mahal Hotel, Mumbai, will open it's door to it's guests once again, in a manner befitting only a heritage building of it's standing.
December 21st, 2008 is the day that the regal building will welcome guests warmly after the horrific Terror Attack of November 26, 2008.
 The Oberoi Trident: ready for visitors....again.  The Taj Mahal Hotel by Night.
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